


A Lot Like Chess

by YourFavoriteRobot



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-19
Updated: 2011-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-22 01:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourFavoriteRobot/pseuds/YourFavoriteRobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>K-9 gives advice on matters of the hearts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lot Like Chess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JaneTurenne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneTurenne/gifts).



> **janeturenne** said: K-9 as advice columnist. Possibly giving love advice to a thinly-disguised version of the Master.

  
“K-9!” Leela called, frustrated at having to search for a thing that gave no sent and made little noise. She walked through the halls of the overly large Gallifreyan home she shared with her husband with a caution she was never able shake to even after years in this most safe and welcoming place. “K-9 where are you? You must help me with the food dispenser it is only making iced creams again.”

Finally there was a beeping and whirring that she was able to follow to it’s source. K-9’s eye panel was flashing and his ear-tenna swivelled about at an impressive speed.

“One moment Mistress,” he gave on final beep. “Upload completed.”

“K-9, tell me what you are doing that you could not answer me.”

“I was helping, Mistress.”

“Helping how? With what?”

“Assisting people with social dilemmas.” She gave him a look of deep and profound confusion. “People through out the universe send me stories outlining their romantic problems and I provide them with solutions.”

“But why?”

“It is a hobby.”

“Like how the Doctor would play that dull game with the pretend armys.”

“Chess, Mistress. You are correct. It is much like chess, various strategic moves must be made in order to herd to other party in to a desired final state.”

“K-9 you are a good and true friend but you know nothing about mating. You are a machine; you do not do such things.” She looked him over, glancing under his rear emotional display appendage, just to double check.

“I have access to three billion different texts on love, romance and sexuality; mating as you call it, Mistress. I am well qualified to give advice on the subject.”

“But you can not learn such things from books, K-9. You must feel the heat, passion and desire coursing through your veins to truly understand love.”

“Negative, Mistress, however In this case I have additional insight.”

“Really? What is that?”

“It is about the Doctor Master.”

“He is in love?” Some how that seemed more strange to Leela than the idea of a robot dog advising people on their love lives. “And he has come to you for help?”

“Negative. My help was sot by a person who wishes for the to the Doctor Master to wed him.”

“Who K-9?”

“Subject wished to remain anonymous but simple calculation suggest that it must be none other that the Master.”

“But you said that it wasn’t the Doctor.”

“Not the Doctor Master, the Master Master.”

“I am confused.”

“Affirmative. The Master is a Time Lord, like the Doctor.”

“And what have you advised this Master to do to win the Doctor’s heart?”

“Hearts, Mistress.”

“Yes, yes, I know K-9, just tell me.”

“Preparing hard copy of transmitted message.” Leela gathered the paper tape that scrolled out from K-9 mouth. She looked down at the paper reading it to herself in a mumble and then, in her surprise, starting again at the top making certain that she had read it correctly.

“K-9, this is good! The Doctor will never be able to resist going to met him in a challenge over that England he is so fond of. But the Doctor is clever he will see the false threat for what it is. They fight well and fiercely and then mate just as passionately as they fought. You are wiser in these matters than I gave you credit for.”

“Affirmative, Mistress.”

“K-9?”

“Yes, Mistress?”

“What is a Magnet Carter?”


End file.
